lying in the backyard pretending to be asleep

by methadone clinic

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mfw i think the best parts of this album were the original demos of some of the other methadone clinic songs and thinking “wait a minute i’ve heard this one before”. this was a good way to spend $5 Favorite track: needle ghost.
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1.
sunflowers in my yard remind me that you're not so far rest your hand on my eyes i don't want to leave but it feels not right
2.
stick 01:53
box on my wall has been ruining has my life since last fall can't buy a novel from someone who is not fucking awful
3.
needle ghost 01:05
i stick around i can't let you down you're in my head i can't let you end up dead don't kill yourself don't kill yourself
4.
going to buy myself something nice not even going to try to read the price nobody cares nobody knows gonna go somewhere nobody goes we call each other but we don't say words we play a game called feeling awful but it's always my turn i think i quit i never win i think that's it please let me in
5.
dancing 02:30
you're the dance floor you're not dancing anymore you should go lie down i'm worried you'll hit the ground you're close to me the night's not over yet i'll sweep you off your feet together we'll rest your head i'm watching over you don't know what else i can do not sure if you know i'm there but i'm not going anywhere i don't know where you'll be for now, we're both not dead it's just you me forever we'll lie in bed you're close to me the night's not over yet i'll sweep you off your feet together we'll rest your head
6.
7.
have you heard from the boy you love more do you feel tingles when he calls you a whore did you notice how i wave goodbye i never let your habits slip my mind
8.
room 01:48
i don't like anyone besides you (besides you) in my room in my room i don't like anyone besides you (besides you) only you only you
9.
i don't feel right think i'm on my own tonight nothing in this house that i can use to get out it's not worth talking about i should shut my mouth it hurts to speak to friends i can't tie up loose ends
10.
what my mother said loiters in my head and instead of failing chemistry i would rather be dead i shut my bedroom i can't take it anymore i go to sleep so i can dream away tomorrow's got new hell in store it's the same thing every week i stare at a computer screen i get good grades until a test comes back around i don't even need chemistry
11.
12.
stay inside of my room i'm going to try being someone new can't stand the way i look i just stare at the walls can't compare. not even close i should dye my hair. or buy new clothes i can't change me. want to learn how i think i'll see myself out
13.
feel the cool blue breeze on my face it's november again walking home from work in the cold the weather never bothers me pretty soon i'll be home once more then i'll be happy again forget my troubles and spend time away with my family and friends can't seem to shake this disease it keeps on circling back head to the bathroom with a lighter in my hand i just might smoke the whole damn pack my parents ask what smells like smoke i say the neighbors drove by pretty soon they take my coat and then they take me outside i wonder if they'll ask what's wrong this time or maybe they won't even try
14.
i don't think it's worth it maybe i should think about trying to begin to quit maybe things would work themselves out i know i can be a lot i don't really try to i can't be someone i'm not but i can't disappoint you
15.
16.
with love 04:16
on the side of the road people i used to know he's standing next to a girl i speed away that was a year out he's moved out of his old house and in with this girl not today
17.
stop the talking laney's tired, be quieter give a space so she can tell me where it hurts listening isn't helping. listening isn't helping. she said maybe give me something so i can help myself. grab your nametag and your ego, you're free to go give us all your guilt and all that you didn't want us to know to know to know to know listening isn't helping. listening isn't helping. she said maybe give me something so i can help myself. (laughter)

about

all of these songs were recorded in 2020, either on a microcassette or on my old laptop.

credits

released April 4, 2021

my boss, carl, for letting me borrow his microcassette recorder to record a few of the songs on this album, and gabi, for being gabi.

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about

methadone clinic Maplewood, New Jersey

lawson saby, (formerly?) hudson pollock, archie o'connell.

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